I enjoyed this weeks exercise as I do every week! :)
The lack of oxygen around me is caused by the teeming earth beneath me. I am suffocating in a box – though not shut entirely. I see the illumination. The light bends like a prism through my spirit, creating a multihued of colors.
I smile as if I were jumping on clouds. I weep while inside of those clouds. Raindrops begin to form on every inch of my skin, pouring into old wounds that smolder as if I had been on fire.
But I am left with more than just a burn. I am left with scars that develop deeper into the bone. I stand up with an arrow in my hand, fighting with what I have left; only to realize it was me whom I was fighting against.
The arrow becomes my potency, my portal, my documentation that I am strong.
11 comments:
I could feel the poetry vibe with this piece too. It is so obviously your strength. The words are beautiful and so is the imagery. Well Done!
The first paragraph was really powerful - the image I got was very claustrophobic, like being in a coffin? Is this what you were going for?
I got the coffin image too. You must write, think and feel like a poet. I am so pleased you are enjoying the writing challenges. Me too!
x
I also got the coffin image, feeling enclosed, trapped. I also agree that it has a very strong poetry vibe to it, but it worked well with the piece.
Thank you all for your comments. I am gracious for each one! :)
The coffin image was a metaphor for feeling like I was trapped and enclosed--suffocating from the world around me.
Glad all of you enjoyed reading it.
Very poetic writing, I felt the sense of entrapment too.
Stephanie, this was spectacular. The flow was perfect. Your poetic touch was painted all over this piece!
I was completely lost in this piece. I have no real idea what was going on, but I love the words and the feeling of the words!
Poetry is indeed your line of expertise Steph. You are so excellent in composing metaphors to express your words. Really excellent.
Smiles,
Andy
Thank you all for your kind words! :)
Sif - It's okay. No worries. It took me many years to learn how to write like that and to also understand what I was writing. LOL
I get lost in my writing pieces sometimes too!!
I had a recurring dream as a kid of being locked in a coffin! I think I saw something on tv that I wasn't supposed to - hence the dreams. Gah!
Great stuff.
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