My second WOW challenge. This week we are to use the word Piqued in our writing.
I chose to go in a poetic direction for the use of this word. I am not quite sure if I used it correctly, but I did my best.
The piece itself can have many different meanings. I chose to include loss, hurt, sex, and love all at the same time.
I am interested in knowing what lies underneath your bones. You pique me throughout our last moments together. I know you are fearful of loss. Losing me is why I stayed boxed. My body is still wrapped with your love.
Untie me…
Reaching of your arms as you dissolve within my core, I am in demand. Freeing myself as I go through this dieing process, I am shedding a skin. My ribbons are loosening up.
Untie me…
A deeper breath, I begin to take. My legs moving in a way for you to stay. Water pellets are forming on my skin. Taste the salt within my soul.
Untie me…
13 comments:
Interesting piece :)
Thank you! I am thinking about changing a few lines in order to make it flow better.
I love the line my ribbons are loosening up.
A beautiful encapsulation of a moment in time.
Oooh, I loooved this. So dreamy and poetic and completely drew me in.
Well done!
Hi Stephanie. I don't know whether it's my eyes or my tiredness, but I had trouble reading this piece tonight because of the font. I had to go back and re-read it a few times because I read the wrong words. Not a criticism, just an observation. It was a beautiful piece otherwise.
Anne xx
"I am shedding a skin. My ribbons are loosening up"...
I liked the tone of this piece. It was sleepy and dreamlike and I liked the flow and rhythm. Lovely work.
Apologies for not getting to your piece from last week, I was terribly behind and had trouble catching up. But welcome to WoW! I hope you enjoy the writing!
x
"Untie me", that title itself piqued my interest. The emotion is there, the eagerness to be free. Very nice piece.
Smiles,
Andy
I really liked this - so much pain! Well written!
This is such a dreamy, beautiful and emotive piece. Well done!
I liked the repetition of "untie me." Nicely done.
You could read this is so many ways. All gentle and peaceful. Don't change it, it's perfect!
Thank you all for the wonderful comments! I am thrilled that I am joining all of you in this writing adventure! :)
Anne - I will change the font. I am also having trouble reading my own words. Fancy is not always the best way to go is it? lol
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