My 11th week for the WOW exercises. This week we are to use the line "Sunshine in a cup" by Emily Dickenson and write what comes to mind.
Though I usually write poetry, I am trying to escape from my normal realm for awhile and write a bit of fiction. This is simple yet a bit mysterious. Hope you all will enjoy reading it as much as I did writing the first part of it......
It was the middle of August and the heat was beginning to diminish as the day grew concise. My older sister Annie wanted to take a dip in the lake before the sun went down. Of course I always had to go with Annie wherever she went. Though she was two years older than me, I was much more prudent and wise. Annie was considered to be sunshine in a cup - a ball of freshness one might say. She could never do anything that was sinful. But in reality, she would always end up in danger. I had to come salvage her most of the time. After all, she was my sister and I did love her.
“Enchanted Lake” is what people in town called the lake. Supposedly, if you swam in the lake for more than twenty minutes, a mermaid would emerge and grant you one wish. I’ve been swimming in the lake since I was five years old. I am now 15.
Annie was always the believer in mythical creatures. Though she had never seen this mermaid, she had one of her feelings today that she might catch a glimpse of her. I took her by the hand as we walked together towards the lake. Out of curiosity I asked her what she would wish for if she were to see this mermaid.
“I am going to wish to be with my secret love.” she said as she smiled with such ecstasy.
I scoffed and asked “Who might that be Annie?”
“Mr. Gabe. I saw him three times yesterday and each time I could see that he was interested in me.” Annie said to her sister Abigail.
“Annie, Mr. Gabe is nearing 25 years old. You are only 17. Mama would never hear of it!”
“Oh Abigail, you will soon find out what it is like to find love.”
I rolled my eyes and began to think about myself for a minute. If there was a mermaid and I did have the chance to make a wish, what would I wish for?
13 comments:
Nice take on the prompt. I wonder what she would wish for?!
I love "ball of freshness." What a sweet story. Nice venture into fiction.
--Feisty C
What an interesting piece! I really like the whimsical feeling of the mermaid and wishes. Awesome job!!!
Enjoyed this, could easily expand into a larger story.
I agree, definitly sounds like the beginning to something interesting...
Just the mention of mermaids will always draw me in. A lovely idea. :)
Fun! Magical mermaids! Secret wishes!
Very creative take. I especially liked "Annie was considered to be sunshine in a cup".
I can feel a bigger story lurking here - I hope you come back to it and we find out if the mermaid did appear and if Annie was right about Mr. Gabe and what Mama had to say about that!
Thank you everyone! I will do my best to expand this to a longer piece. Ideas are brewing in my head!! :)
What a beautiful story! I loved this and would like to read on. Looks like you have a firm grasp of this fiction writing business!
A plot is developing here, Steph. Lovely fantasy and mystery and the story will suit your poetic style, I think. Can I suggest removing the "considered" from this sentence? "Annie was considered to be sunshine in a cup - a ball of freshness one might say."
I think saying Annie was sunshine in a cup is better. What do you think? Loved a ball of freshness too!
Thank you Gill! I too think that might sound better. Thanks for pointing that out. :)
I really enjoyed reading this. It was one of those pieces that just makes you more interested with every sentence you read. Where will it go?
nice job, Claire
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